He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
