I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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