A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
