please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
