Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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