Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
