You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
