Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Randomize
