The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
