You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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