Who wears a wallet chain?!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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