We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
