His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
