babies were throwing up all over the place
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
