Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
