oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
