My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
