She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
