I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
