did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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