He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm bleeding and have questions
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
