yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
