Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i came on her dog
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
