he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
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He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
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Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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