He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
