I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
