Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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