I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Don't make out with my wife yet
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
