shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
