Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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