i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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