i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
worst night to have a conscience
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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