HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
