no one should ever give us hovercrafts
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
