I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
