i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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