I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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