is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
