toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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