hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize