i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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