I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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