Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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