So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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