i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
