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I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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