Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
