WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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