Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
