I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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