Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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