And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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