"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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