we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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