Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
