I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
