I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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