When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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