I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
