I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
