i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
