dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
