Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So squirting runs in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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