operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
