He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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