pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
