Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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